


Weightless.

by bensaidbutido



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben and Rey are inevitably linked, F/M, Flashbacks, Rey thinks Ben is so beautiful, Reylo - Freeform, it’s a vibe??? Sad and moody and romantic, night swimming, very very soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:08:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22481575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bensaidbutido/pseuds/bensaidbutido
Summary: “We need to talk,” he says calmly, still standing on the patio.Rey can’t take it. She’sfuming.“We could’vetalkedfor the pastyear, but you were too busy establishing the fact that you wantednothing to do with me,” she spits out. Her arms rest on the edge of the pool, her hair is dripping wet, and her back feels cold from exposure to the air. Rey looks up at Ben with burning eyes. “There’s nothing to discuss.We don’t know each other.”Ben walks forward and sits with his legs crossed right in front of her. “Don’t say that.”“Say what?”“You can’t hide, Rey,” he speaks so softly, “not from me. You told meeverything.“
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 24
Kudos: 154





	Weightless.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my very first fic and though I'm excited to share it, I'm also extremely nervous! I hope this is okay :) 
> 
> If you're here from my tumblr, HELLO!!!! my username is also bensaidbutido on there.
> 
> Anyway, here's what I wrote! Enjoy :)

Growing up, Rey didn’t swim. She was taught at a young age along with her classmates, back when the sun burnt her skin too easily and the triple-bun hairstyle she wore was the newest trend in kindergarten. She’d been _enamored_ on that day, a smaller, more curious Rey taking in a swimming pool that seemed to equate in size and depth with the Pacific Ocean. Learning came naturally to her, and she never forgot how to move in the light-weight environment. She never forgot the _silence_ of being underwater, how the sounds of the other children became muffled— how she couldn’t speak, couldn’t breathe. She knew, _she always knew_ , that it would probably be the only time she’d swim. That day ended, as all days do, and Rey went back home to a family she would be taken from the following year. At six years old, she was on her own, moving from home to home, shutting out the world and creating a better one in her mind— one where she could swim forever, lost in a place built for fairytales.

Life went on. After graduating high school, Rey took the first job opening she could find, desperate and determined to somehow save money for college. She bagged groceries, scraped and cleaned dirty tables, and threw herself in some embarrassing situations all the while. Rey didn’t mind working as long as the money she needed came with it. She didn’t mind the loss of sleep, the fear of failure, the loneliness, or the constant worry of not being able to make ends meet... at least, she told herself she didn’t mind these things— _that’s just life, right?_ But if she didn’t mind, why did the fairytale world in her dreams _linger?_ It still _gripped_ her imagination, pulling her into a state of peace she would sell her soul to have in her waking life.

She imagined an ocean. An island. She imagined a lagoon where she would float, looking at the stars.

 _She still dreams of it_.

The good things in her life always left. Of that Rey was certain, and the things she wanted were... simply _unattainable_.

In her current life, at the wonderful age of twenty-four, Rey is... feeling _okay_. Not great, not terrible. She has friends: Finn, Poe, Rose, and—

She doesn’t finish that train of thought.

The one thing Rey truly has is the outdoor pool belonging to Finn and Poe’s home. She knows now that pools _don’t_ measure up to the giant oceans of the Earth. Rey wishes she could tell her younger self that there was still some hope, that she _would_ get to swim again. Rey would be lying if this pool didn’t restore some of her optimism about life. If she was proven wrong about never swimming again, maybe she’d be proven wrong about the millions of other doubts in her head.

_One day._

So, on clear nights like tonight, Finn and Poe usually invite Rey and Rose over, and Rey immediately finds herself rushing to the back door, towel in hand. In the pool, in the water, Rey feels weightless. The thought of feeling so light is the only thing she can focus on as she steps out onto the patio. Her friends stay inside, deciding on a movie to watch. They always argue over a drama or a comedy. Poe wants something fun, but Finn is always in the mood to shed a few tears, to feel _inspired_. Rose sits between them on her phone, waiting for them to come to an agreement.

Rey takes the opportunity of being alone to enjoy the silence nighttime brings her. The only sounds allowed are the movements of her arms through the water as she finally walks in, and the soothing chirps of crickets in the grass. For a moment she imagines she’s not in the pool, but she’s _there_. The island, the ocean, the lagoon surrounded by the beauty of nature, and Rey doesn’t know where she is or where she’s going... She feels like that in the real world— _lost_ — but in the real world she can’t wander. She can’t _explore_. Here, there’s no pressure. Here she could be away from reality, away from her responsibilities, away from everything. The stars become the lights that guide her.

Here she could—

The sound of the sliding glass door opening interrupts Rey’s wandering conscience.

“Oh, it’s just... you.”

She knows that voice, and it doesn’t belong to Finn, Poe, or Rose. It’s the last voice she wants to hear right now.

“What do you want?” Rey doesn’t even attempt to look in his direction, too focused on returning to her inner peace. _Finn and Poe must have made a last-minute invitation_ , she thinks. There’s bitterness laced in the thought.

Ben’s presence doesn’t fade. “A ‘hello’ would’ve been nice.”

Rey rolls her eyes even though Ben can’t see it from where he’s standing. It’s too dark out for him to see her clearly, he can probably just make out the shape of her in the pool.

Rey doesn’t hate Ben. Hate is too strong, too _unforgiving_ of a word. She just gets bothered by him very easily, and can’t understand how him and Poe seem to be such close friends. Poe’s outgoing, flirtatious, and kind personality would seem to clash with Ben’s quiet, blunt, and at times _explosive_ one. Despite their differences, the two of them get along just fine.

With Rey... they’re too similar, but they’re _not_ at the same time. Ben has it all: a family who loves him, a paid college education, a stable job, everything Rey _doesn’t_ have, and yet— he is _angry_. It’s the kind of anger that simmers just below the surface, the kind Rey catches glimpses of when his voice adopts a certain tone or when his eyes harden into steel. She knows his anger comes from fear, from being hurt. She knows their relationship stands in a weird place: _unresolved_. Ben is ungrateful— he _was_ ungrateful. What he is now... Rey can only guess, but she knows _him_. Not the man who’s been bad news for her this past year, but the man who changed Rey’s life... at least for a short while. Rey wants to tell him to leave, to never come back, and maybe she will. She _thinks_ she will, looking at him standing in front of her, until she remembers that she never would be able to.

It happened one year ago.

 _Rey had been returning from a night shift, eager to eat leftover pasta and get in bed when she found Ben slumped in the hallway of her apartment complex, right next to her door. Dressed in all black as always, he looked— he could’ve been mistaken for a dead body, and Rey almost thought so. Then his head shot up at the sound of her footsteps, and the possibility was eliminated. His eyes were hollow and lifeless, almost refraining from looking directly into hers, afraid of what Rey would do— what she would_ say _. No, he wasn’t_ actually _dead, but inside... there was nothing in him. Rey could see right through him._

_She didn’t know Ben well enough at this point. She’d only been around him a handful of times whenever she went out with Poe and Finn, and even so they didn’t talk often. Ben was better friends with Poe and Rey was better friends with Finn; Ben and Rey were two parts of different equations at the time. So, seeing him like this, in a state so vulnerable and shattered... for her eyes only... she immediately brought him into her home. No question about it. Those eyes would stay with her longer than she expected. They reflected something Rey saw in herself. She was shattered, too, but she wasn’t in the right mindset to admit it._

_Rey’s apartment was messy, unfit for a guest, but she didn’t care. Ben obviously didn’t mind either, too broken to even take in his surroundings. He was off in another dimension, on his way to being sucked into a black hole. Rey didn’t think, and reached for one of his hands, holding it in hers. She led him to her couch and they sat next to each other. She stayed silent until he was ready to speak._

_Only he didn’t speak at first. Instead, Ben_ cried _. Ben cried_ uncontrollably _, never knowing if he could possibly stop, and Rey sat next to him quietly, observing him. He was withering away in front of her._

 _Han, his dad, died two weeks ago. He was on his way to his morning routine: grabbing a coffee before heading to work. It was a car accident. Ben told Rey everything. He had no idea why he chose to come to her, and so soon, but he felt like whoever knew him_ less _wouldn’t be able to judge him so harshly. He didn’t want to be known anymore. He didn’t want to face his mom. He spent two weeks alone, letting this eat him_ alive _—_

_“I didn’t know,” Ben sobs. “I got a call in the middle of work from my dad. I was in a meeting, so I didn’t answer. We were never on good terms, I never considered his calls to be about something important, and—“ Rey continued to watch him break apart, piece by piece, in silence. She nodded for him to continue once he composed himself again. “He called me three more times, and I had a bad feeling... that something was off, but I went against it. I declined the call every time.” Ben pushed his dark hair back out of stress, wanting to tear it from his skull, give himself the pain he deserved. “I get a voicemail from him, and I listen to it when the meeting ends. He tells me he loves me, that he wants to see me soon. He was planning a trip in a few months for Christmas, hoping I would be there— and then, and then—“ he couldn’t look at Rey, not for this. “The message just got cut off. Something wasn’t right. I could tell he was driving while talking and—“ Ben blamed himself. He made up his mind. He killed his dad by not picking up the phone._

_He was the reason his father couldn’t live another day._

_They didn’t know how it happened, but at some point through it all Rey was holding him. They sat on her small, worn-down couch, Rey’s arms wrapped around him as he laid his head on her chest. He was empty, completely empty and drained of all emotion. Ben’s hand found one of hers and held on. The action prompted a feeling in Rey’s chest she didn’t think could be caused by him. She ignored it for the sake of the current situation, helping him calm down, running her other hand through his hair, fingers softly scraping along his scalp._

_She couldn’t heal him. She could only hope he could heal himself._

_A small, brown lamp was the only source of light in Rey’s apartment. It sat in the corner of her living room and bathed her and Ben in dim, warm hues. The world felt like it was out of focus. One minute she was working, the next she was holding a crying Ben Solo in her arms._

_“Tell me something,” Ben suddenly whispered, his lips moving against the soft material of Rey’s shirt. “Please.”_

_Rey froze, not knowing what to do. This mess of a man poured his heart out to her in pain. He felt guilt, excessive amounts of it. It was spilling over the edges of his mind, poisoning the blood in his veins. He felt sick with guilt, and all Rey wanted to do was tell Ben that he shouldn’t feel guilty at all. That death was not something he could control or predict, that this was_ not _his fault, but something told her that he wasn’t ready to hear it. He wouldn’t believe her or listen to her if she talked about_ him _. He could be stubborn— she’d seen it before._

_Rey talked about herself instead, hoping it would shift his thinking away, distract him. “I’ve felt guilty,” she spoke slowly, asking herself if she really wanted to tell him this hidden part of her life. “I still do. About my parents.”_

_Ben was affectionate with her then, moving his thumb across her knuckles, completely unaware of his boldness. “Why?”_

_She told him. Everything. How her parents couldn’t provide for her, how they had her too young. They still wanted to live their lives as if they didn’t have a child to worry about, and Rey was seen as a burden. She felt like a burden all her life— felt like she wasn’t supposed to be born. She told Ben about being taken from them once alcohol was brought into the situation, once they decided drinking was a priority for them. Money was wasted, and Rey was in an environment she believed was the result of her own existence._

_“I just feel like if I hadn’t been born, maybe my parents wouldn’t have fallen down that hole,” Rey says softly, looking at the ceiling, tears starting to form. “Maybe they could’ve been better off if I wasn’t in the picture at all. It’s_ my _fault they became so careless with themselves, if only I—“ Rey had hidden this for so long, kept it locked in the darkest corner of her heart. Still, that dark place only fed the memories. A part of Rey’s soul was painted black and suffocated, and all she wanted was to_ forget _. She never wanted to think about it; she always wanted to forget. Forget the fact that she’d probably never see her parents again, and that they wouldn’t_ want _to see her anyway if the opportunity arose. Rey was_ nothing _; she was abandoned._

 _“Rey, no.” Ben sat up, and... he was so close to her._ Too _close, yet Rey welcomed his proximity. It alarmed her how easy it was to let him into her space. “You’re wrong. Your parents should have put you first the moment they found out you would be part of their lives. You deserved parents who wanted to give you the world.”_

_“I...” Rey looked at him. She really looked at him for the first time in her life. She always saw him, but never like this. The sharp angles of his pale face were highlighted by the soft glow of the lamp. His dark eyes roamed her features, looking at her in a way that made her skin break out in goosebumps._

_They barely knew each other— except now that doesn’t apply. Now... they knew too much. Rey told him about her guilt, and he told her about his. A connection was made and she felt it. There was something there, something_ inviting _in his eyes. Something solid and clear. She already knew he would stay the night, the tired look on his face told her that, but Ben couldn’t sleep. There was no way he’d be able to, and he needed to be distracted until sunrise. Rey was more than happy to help because truth be told... she hadn’t been able to sleep for_ months _. Sleep didn’t matter like it used to. So they stayed on her couch, comfortable being so close to one another, practically... cuddling. Tears dried on their cheeks, and they shared more things about themselves._

_Ben told Rey about growing up, how his parents weren’t always present, yet he was seen as being part of a perfect family. Ben never knew what a perfect family was because of that, so he was confused most of his childhood. He convinced himself that his loneliness was a product of being selfish rather than being neglected. His mom worked in politics, too busy to stay at home. His dad was always taking different jobs to bring back something extra, and didn’t understand Ben’s interests. When Han wanted to play catch with his son, Ben wanted to read a book that was too advanced for him or learn how to write in cursive. Han wouldn’t say the most... supportive things about it._

_Rey told Ben about her dream— the one she could never let go of since she first learned how to swim. She told him how she loved feeling weightless in the water, as if her troubles transformed into feathers and her worries turned to dust. She told him about the ocean, the island, full of its vibrant colors where nature flowed around her as she floated in a body of water, undisturbed. She told him how most of the time she wished she could erase every part of her past, her memory, and be at peace without the heaviness of what she’s experienced._

_“I would erase my memories, too,” Ben said, yawning after. They were both sleepy, but they couldn’t commit to shutting their eyes, to letting the darkness win. “Except for this. I want to remember this.”_

_Rey smiled at his words, her stomach stirring a feeling she couldn’t understand. “I want to remember this, too.”_

_They fell into a comfortable silence, holding each other as if it was something they always did. When one of them almost fell asleep, the other would lightly say their name to keep them awake. Ben was afraid of his nightmares, replaying his memory of the last time he heard his father’s voice. Rey dreaded the disappointment of waking up to a world that never kept its promises. By the time the sunlight had begun to beam through one of Rey’s windows, Ben pulled himself away from her, leaving her body without warmth..._

Ben decided to pretend that night never happened. He ignored Rey whenever they got together with Finn and Poe. If they spoke to one another, Ben would take every opportunity to turn a friendly situation into a _sour_ one. He pushed her away, and Rey was given no reason as to why. There was an invisible thread connecting them, and Ben tried his hardest to _sever_ it. Rey only wanted to move forward with him since that night, but Ben wanted the opposite. She wasn’t surprised.

_What she wanted was simply unattainable._

Now Ben’s here, in the present, talking to her— _really_ talking to her as if she hadn’t been mistreated by him for a whole year.

As if they’re still friends.

“We need to talk,” he says calmly, still standing on the patio.

Rey can’t take it. She’s _fuming_. “We could’ve _talked_ for the past _year_ , but you were too busy establishing the fact that you wanted _nothing to do with me_ ,” she spits out. Her arms rest on the edge of the pool, her hair is dripping wet, and her back feels cold from exposure to the air. Rey looks up at Ben with burning eyes. “There’s nothing to discuss. _We don’t know each other_.”

Ben walks forward and sits with his legs crossed right in front of her. “Don’t say that.”

“Say what?”

“You can’t hide, Rey,” he speaks so softly, “ _not from me_. You told me _everything_.“

“ _You_ ,” Rey shouts, emotions getting the best of her. “You can’t just show up after a year of treating me like a stranger, and suddenly act as if I’m not going to call you out for it!”

“I’m not saying you _shouldn’t_ ,” Ben argues, looking down at her wide eyes. “I— Rey, I messed up. Please let me explain why... why I _couldn’t_...” He’s losing his train of thought.

Rey can’t exactly describe what’s going through her mind, and just the mere _confusion_ their relationship brings only makes her feel more annoyed with him... but the problem is that she can’t _stay_ annoyed. It takes everything in her power to tell herself that she wasn’t _drawn_ to him, even in all the moments when they caught one another staring, or the times they accidentally brushed hands if they were too _close_ to one another. She tells herself she wasn’t _inextricably linked_ to him even when Ben tried what he could to get her out of his life. Even now, when he’s staring at her like she’s the most interesting thing in the _world_ , when she should be fighting _against_ him, she feels her annoyance slowly melt away and... and _what_? What it turns into she’s afraid of admitting.

It’s getting harder and harder to hide what she feels for him.

“ _Ben_.” The anger in Rey’s tone is gone. “Why? Why did you...” she struggles to find the words— she wants to get this right. “I thought we were going to move _forward_ after that night. Those things I told you, I’ve never told _anyone_.”

“I’ve never told anyone what I told you either,” Ben confesses. He sounds like he’s in _pain_. He always has a way of sounding like that when he’s around her, as if some invisible force is holding him back from what he truly wants; it’s like there’s a voice in his head _torturing_ him. A year is a long time, but it was also a year of Ben dealing with his father’s death. It was a year of Ben drowning in his own self-hatred.

“Are you swimming?” Rey doesn’t even think before she asks the question, surprised at hearing her own words. All she did was _feel_ — react to the tension rising in the space between them, tension that only grows stronger with each time they meet. She hates it. She finally tries to push him away and yet with every passing second she feels... _closer_ to him. He haunts her.

Ben’s mouth slightly falls open, then closes abruptly. _Apparently he does plan on swimming_ , Rey thinks, noticing he’s in a plain black shirt and black swimming trunks. It matches her choice of a simple black two-piece. An unspoken agreement occurs when Ben lifts his shirt over his head and— Rey looks away, not because she _wants_ to— _wait_ , that doesn’t mean she would rather look at him instead of _not_ — she just notices that the water feels a little bit colder than it did before, but _she_ feels _warmer_ ; her face heats up without warning.

 _Distractions are good_ , Rey thinks. _This water is so captivating when I put my hand through it_ —

“Rey.” There are waves softly hitting the middle of Rey’s back where she stands, waves that emanate from the tall man next to her. Ben moves closer to her, and now it’s impossible to look away from him, his _body_ , his—

He dips below the surface of the water, and for a moment he’s completely out of her sight. Seconds later he comes back up, shaking his dark hair and pushing it back, revealing the ears he always keeps hidden.

Rey’s heart does something she’s unfamiliar with, and it throws her off entirely. This— _him_. Him looking like this, looking at _her_ , wet and all _skin_ , pale in the moonlight above them. He glistens, almost sparkles. _He was made for the night_ , she thinks, _and he doesn’t even realize it_. His eyes, as dark as they are, catch the reflection of the moon on the water, and there’s a speck of silver within the shadows of his irises. The spots on his face, his neck, his chest— she wants to connect them, make _constellations_ out of them. His lips are a vibrant red, so vivid even in the darkness. Rey is simply... mesmerized, and then realizes something profound.

He’s _here_. Ben is with her now, and not just in the pool, but in her _dream_. He exists in her ethereal world, appearing out of thin air, the water making Ben look like a _king_ , and making her feel so—

Weightless.

All her life, in this dream she was always _alone_. The place she felt her happiest... she was always _alone_ , and now Ben stands, towering over her in beauty she thought would be humanly impossible, and he just _fits_. He fits so well in this vision, this fairytale. He fits so well with _her_.

“I was afraid,” Ben says. “That night... I felt connected to you in a way I can’t explain. It scared me out of my mind, and I thought I didn’t deserve it. I didn’t deserve _you_ , your empathy, your touch, your _voice_. Not after what I did—“

“You didn’t do anything, Ben.” Rey desperately tries to calm the rapid beating of her heart and the overwhelming realizations that are hitting her. Saying this to him has been long overdue. “Your father... _that wasn’t your fault_ , Ben. I know you may never believe that, but _believe me_ when I say it to you. You never could’ve known. Nobody did.”

Their eyes haven’t moved from each other. The world could be ending in an _explosion of fire_ and they wouldn’t notice it.

“Do you feel it?” He’s looking at her with a mixture of softness and intensity. It’s mind boggling, his expression. It awakens the sleeping butterflies in Rey’s stomach.

“Feel what?”

“Rey, I just,” Ben says quietly, “I just feel like every time we’re with each other...” he stops, and looks at the sky, shaking his head. “there’s something between us that...” he loses his train of thought. _He always does around her_. “I just felt like being in your life was wrong. You deserve someone better, _stronger_. I thought it was right to act like that night never happened, like we were strangers. I thought it would set you free from a world where I was someone you knew, but it only made me _miss you_. It made me think of you _more_ , and...”

Rey listens to him. What _is_ he trying to say? His tone teases the feeling of frustration, but he speaks with care. He wants to get this right, whatever he’s attempting to say to her. Rey’s eyes fall to his lips, how they move when he speaks, and something _wild_ is unleashed in her heart. Her throat feels tight with nervousness, with what she’s about to confess.

“ _Weightless_ ,” she says. “I feel weightless.”

_Like when I swim under the stars to get away, to feel numb._

_Like when I want to forget about what I’ve been through, how I come from nowhere, that I feel like nothing, and how I’ve been so alone my whole life._

She’s terrified to admit it.

“ _You make me feel weightless_.” Rey’s voice— she _whispers_ this to Ben, and his face is so close.

It all happens so fast. His hand on her waist, his thumb moving in circles on the skin that’s underwater, lips brushing against her ear. He’s cold, his chest houses tiny drops of water, and Rey’s hands can’t help but place themselves there. He sighs, taking a heavy breath. “I just want to understand... This. Us.”

 _Us_.

Rey knows. There’s electricity in every touch, like lightning. It’s fast, bright, and _amplified_. She’s pulled to him; he’s pulled to her. They dance with their eyes. Even when they seem to push each other away, when one of them feels hurt, or afraid of being too open... they’re always gravitating toward one another. It’s a force they can’t see, can’t observe, can’t study. Rey wishes she could just identify what it is that makes her want to follow Ben down a path built with uncertainty. A path that eventually leads her home. He understands. He understands her completely. He feels the same way. That’s how they’re similar. They _both_ want to get away from their pasts. They _both_ come from broken families, broken promises, damaged hopes. They _both_ wear masks with cracks only they can see through in one another. While they can hide their pain from everyone else, for some reason when it’s them two, walls are torn down. Their minds are open to each other.

Rey doesn’t want to fight anymore. She wants... she wants—

“ _Ben_ ,” she starts. _She wants him_. “I’m afraid—“

“Don’t be afraid.” He moves his hand to her back, pulling her to him, and Rey’s head rests just below his collarbone, her hands falling down his sides. “I feel it, too...”

Weightless.

They’re touching each other and it’s... _intimate_. So intimate Rey thinks they’re going to stay wrapped up in one another eternally as if their fates are somehow intertwined. All of their secrets and hidden desires are passing through each other. She feels whole. She’s in a vision that’s slowly becoming reality, traveling beyond space and time, and she didn’t think that was possible. Rey was always _lost_. Lost forever with no destination, and now a guiding light is holding her. He comes from the stars, or perhaps he’s the _moon_ , and he’s moving his hands to her ribcage, down to her hips, and then—

Ben lifts her, walking deeper into the water where he can still stand, but she can’t. Rey’s legs wrap around him and she is literally weightless in his arms, her own arms around his neck, her back against the edge of the pool. His eyes never leave hers, those moon-reflected eyes, and she’s _soaring_.

Maybe it’s the night sky. Maybe it’s the way his face looks in the soft yet dark lighting, complementing him, making him glow like he _belongs_ in the universe. Maybe it’s his voice every time he says her name, like it’s the only thing he wants to say for the rest of his life. Maybe it’s this unexplainable connection between them, so strong that she can’t imagine it ever dissipating. Maybe it’s the energy of their movements traveling to the water around them, creating waves as a product of their bond. Maybe it’s the way their bodies feel pressed against one another, and the fire it ignites within them. Maybe it’s the fact that Rey doesn’t even need to keep herself afloat in the deep end because Ben is _supporting_ her, and suddenly the idea of this deepness takes another meaning.

She thinks. She thinks _so much_ , and her mind is a swirling mess of thoughts. Now, though, with Ben’s gaze focusing on her lips, while time slows down, her brain doesn’t work. There’s nothing but _Ben_ , going in and out, between what’s real and what isn’t. She doesn’t need the island, or the ocean... she doesn’t need it when she has _him_.

He becomes her new dream.

Ben’s lips are brushing against hers, and Rey’s breathing stops for a second, but it feels like _years_. She hears music, a beat, her heart, _his_ heart, and she’s under a spell. She never wants to break out of it. Their lips brush again, and again, but don’t meet. Who makes the first move? Who, when they both want this so strongly and equally?

_I can read you, I know you, I sense you._

_I want to feel you._

Both broken, both deciding to fix one another.

They meet in the middle.

It’s like the strum of an electric guitar, echoing through a large hall, playing an amorous melody that reaches the deepest parts of their souls. That’s how it feels when their lips come together, connecting everything around them, almost as if the universe itself is balanced. Ben sighs into the kiss, tilting his head for a different angle, _deeper_ , and Rey accommodates. They kiss lazily, feeling dizzy, their minds spinning. Rey slowly sucks on his bottom lip, and Ben quietly moans at the contact, trying not to lose his grip on holding her. It’s just so _right_. Their lips map out an entire world where only they exist, where they have an infinite amount of time to be together.

They stay like that, the soft sounds of the water mixing in with the kisses they share. Ben moves his mouth to Rey’s jaw, peppering light kisses, then continues his journey down her neck. It’s _wet_ , and the _sound_... Rey’s eyes close, and she feels it again— weightless. The feeling of his lips on her, while her closed eyes show her nothing but _darkness_ , the water drowning out reality... all she can do is feel. Feel _him_ , feel his need for her. It’s overwhelming when she feels him suck right above her collarbone, surely leaving a mark. She sighs in satisfaction, heat taking over her entire body.

Weightless.

Ben kisses back up her neck, “I’ve thought about this—“ a kiss on her cheek— “for too long.” He barely gets the words out, breathless as he kisses the corner of her mouth before reconnecting their lips.

Rey kisses back, slow and wholesome. When they pull away, her breathing is uneven, and her hands go from his neck to his dripping hair, twirling strands together. “I’ve thought about it, too.”

It feels amazing to admit it, to admit that she thinks about him— _cares about him_. She thinks of how he can someday repair the family he has left because she can’t. Rey’s family is gone, but Ben still has a chance. She thinks of the moments of pure goodness in him she sees, and how he’s blind to those moments. She wants to let him know every minute of every hour how much she believes in him, and that he should believe in himself, too. She wants him to be happy.

She was never truly bothered by him. Lying would only get her so far.

Ben’s eyes are hooded, lost in want for her— _desire_. He licks his lips, then moves his head, resting it in the crook of her neck. He breathes her in, and breathes out.

“I want you,” he says, almost desperately. He can’t help it. “I’ve never felt it so deeply, but I look at you and I...” Ben loses his breath, voice shaking, almost in disbelief that he’s kissed her— that she kissed him _back_. Rey, drunk off his words, nudges him to look at her, and holds his face in both her hands.

She whispers, “you know what to do.” His knees almost give out listening to her.

Rey didn’t think she could find something that makes her feel more weightless than swimming.

Later that night, Ben proves her wrong.


End file.
